Sometimes, when we fear imminent change, we end up stuck between the “in place” and the “out place.” I’ve experienced this myself when it comes to finishing some of my less “safe” projects, or when it comes to putting something out into the world that triggers potential insecurities. A notion of “safety” will keep me in the portal, forever one foot in, one foot out.
I’ve seen people talking about the uptick in vaginal yeast infections/BV-esque symptoms this week, and I was thinking today about the depth of meaning here. The world is in stagnation in a way we’ve never experienced. We’re waiting for something to happen: a change or restart. But even if we intellectually decide that the “restart” will look the same as life before the shift, we intuitively know that we will come out of this forever changed. What happens when we fear that change? We end up feeling stuck in the portal between the “inside” and the “outside.” In our bodies this translates to the vaginal canal. When we wait in the portal of change for too long, whether it’s out of necessity or fear, discomfort grows. And, yes, that can lead to actual… growth. As in, stagnant growth, or growth of something that increases discomfort… and what happens when we’re uncomfortable? Well, that’s another motivation for movement or change. And the cycle goes on.
Our global society is sitting in the birth canal, which makes it ever more interesting that both death and birth are major topics in the news right now, both wrapped in their own unique blanket of fear. Here’s where I can talk about fear of change, or how we can try to change that fear. But instead, I’m going to suggest that we recognize it for what it is and invite it to be a part of our experience. I can feel this way, because I trust that safety is relative to the design of the universe.
Safety is an illusion. But there’s a certain level of safety that our bodies need to sense in order to move forward. Herein lies the paradox of needing to feel “safe” in our animal bodies, and knowing that safety is relative to whatever will happen. Strike the balance and step forward. Notice what that does to your body. Where is the shift? Be curious here. Interest doesn’t require that we be in pleasure or pain, it’s just curiosity in what exists.
. . .
happenings
The turnout for last weekend’s Grief Movement & Pelvic Grounding Workshop was amazing! Because of the poor Zoom connection we didn’t get to record it live, but that presented the opportunity for us to make it even better. Watch it here and feel free to share with me your personal experience if you feel inspired to so. I hope these practices are as helpful for you as they are for me in this time of global uncertainty.
M: I loved this uplifting look at taking pleasure in changes and shifting out of destructive thinking with sexual curiosity. Worth reading even if you don’t suffer from pelvic pain.
Time: COVID-19 Could Permanently Make Abortions Harder to Access Nationwide
M: Abortion access is now banned in several states due to the pandemic, which is an acute disaster for women’s health. But what of the future of these clinics? “As abortion providers face destabilizing conditions, it’s unclear whether they will be able to access government relief funding the way other medical providers and nonprofits will be able to do.”